What is victim mentality?
A victim mentality is one where you blame everyone else for what happens in your world.
In business and life avoiding “victim mentality” for yourself and others is consummate to your success. People with these attitudes can be destructive in your life and business. Being an Entrepreneur – you MUST be self-actualized. I’ve spent time with people who are masters of the “emotional suicide.” They could win acting Oscar Awards for their ability to self-crucify and put on elaborate dramatized productions of emotional self-flagellation. Of course, all the while blaming everyone else for their problems. These people make themselves and everyone around them miserable.
Its not about what happens to you in life. Its what YOU CHOOSE to do with it and how you respond. Fight or quit. Quit and die. Mother Natures way is to weed out the quitters. WE’RE ALL CHALLENGED AND TESTED, don’t think you’re the only one, deal with it and quit insulting the rest of us who are fighting back.
I went to a Tori Amos concert and she talked about how she’d gotten into a pattern of climbing up on her emotional self crucifix and writhing around. Her friend got sick of it one day and said, “Get off the cross, WE need the wood.” It showed her to quit being so selfish, shes wasnt the only one with problems.
BREAKING NEWS:… The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move On, and crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a complete stop at Get the Heck Over It. Any complaints about how we operate, can be forwarded to 1-800-waa-aaah with Dr. Sniffle Reporting LIVE from Quitchur Bitchin’. If you like this, repost it. If you don’t…suck it up princess! Life doesn’t revolve around you!
“The victim mentality is one that you do often hear about and one that is often thrown around without ever getting defined properly. This mentality is what holds a lot of people back from achieving their goals and reaching their most important destinations. Almost all people become the target of the victim mentality at some point in their lives and before even realizing what they have been hit by they start rationalizing and giving up on their goals.
When you starting taking on this very negative and pessimistic mentality it is crucial to immediately get out of it and push it as far away as you possibly can. But first we must define what this mentality really is and what kind of disadvantages it brings you. The victim mentality is first of all characterized by the unwillingness to take responsibility for your life and the events in your life. A very good example of this is the person who blames him being poor on the government, blames another person for the fact that they have not gotten any success in life or says that he can never succeed in life because of his skin color and ethnicity.
What these three examples all have in common is that they are lead by an unwillingness to accept responsibility as it is a lot easier to just blame an external entity for your lack of success. Even though it can be quite relieving to use this mindset once in a while it is definitely a state you want to stay in for more than a few minutes. This mindset won’t get you anywhere in life as you are basically saying that you have no personal power and that your fate and destiny has already been predetermined by an external entity you couldn’t possibly defeat.
The easiest way to get rid of this self defeating belief set is to simply take responsibility for your life. You might have had an hard upbringing and face a lot of resistance, but no one other than yourself is responsible for where in your life you are right now! And trust me, no one really cares from the bottom of your heart whether you succeed in life or not, in fact most people will probably try to hold you down.
So decide today that you are no longer going to be a target of the victim mentality and will take responsibility for your life, no matter how hard it may seem at the time.“
Quoted Source: http://ezinearticles.com
I notice many times these folks have a poor sense of humor. Being able to laugh at life instead of cry is so important and changes your perspective.
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Well Chris I find myself wanting to say, “geez man, don’t hold back, tell us how you really feel.” Only, would that be, whiney or, pity party? ;-0
Hi Chris,
A wonderful post here.
The victim mentality crowd are losers. By feeling victimized they lend their awesome power to something outside of themselves, which is both absurd and downright sinful.
As you note we all go through hell at one time or another. You can complain or progress, but it’s always your choice.
Thanks for sharing!
Ryan
thanks Ryan
We need the wood so we can burn you on a stake! The whining is a lot harder to hear and doesn’t last as long when they’re being engulfed by flames. Or so I’ve been told. LOL
This is so true, whining is for dogs..life is far too valuable to be spent whining….
I plead I am one of the whinging kind about mental issues and self defeatest but who manage to pull through the bad to begin a new time of creativity
It’s just the waiting around i like to keep active to my very own with
the good advice to wake up and own the worse times as a time of change.
Geez – Kinda Harsh Chris! 😉
Well, that is the truth. We all have an iota of self-victimization, which like all other good and bad traits in us is required by nature; however when one lets this mentality rule the day it is sickness.
I had a friend who described these self-flagelating losers like this “When you walk into a room, it seems as though somebody left.”
Being a minority cause my dad is from Mexico (my mom is 100% white American) I have come to view the world from both lenses.
I have also come to see that people who have no experience with discrimination or minorities for that matter, cannot speak for all people, especially out of the USA (I’ve lived in Africa and the Middle East.)
Life is in no way fair. Sure if you try hard, you wont be stuck in a class (like the Indian caste system) but for those that are considered minoroties, it is in fact harder (plenty of statistics can back this.) The only people I ever see argue against this are white people, which is understandable. If people have never had to see or fight real hardships and struggles in life, it shelters people. Its like these young guys who have never had their rights revoked claim to be libertarians. I have had my rights revoked, some deserved, some not but I dont cry and whine that I am not free. The people who whine this seem to just do that, whine and complain (sometimes its all over money in the end, not having a better job.) I have gone through a lot of hard shit and I am responsible for my actions. What you also have to consider is names. With some like me and the name Delfino, some white people dont know what to expect. D I speak English, understand American culture? Or would it just be easier to hire someone you know for sure has the values and culture you need for contact with your customer base. Get to talking with me, and soon I am told “you look white.” But what doesnt look white is my name on a piece of paper.
I bring these up because I dont get upset by it all, I just want people to understand that life is in no way fair for all. That would be like telling Rosa Parks the reason she has to sit in the back of the bus was cause she just isnt trying hard enough.
Back in the days of slavery and post-slavery, poor whites some times got looked down worse than minorities. This was because since they were white they had more opportunity and if they were poor whites they were just not trying hard enough. So if they recognized this 200 years ago, why does it seem many want to act like this has never been an issue.
I think our current generation forgets history, or maybe doesnt really even know it. What you learn in HS will maybe get you by in a bar. But the information you learn is very broad. Sorry for my going on, but it is important that people realize that life isnt fair and blaming some for their problems does nothing for anyone but the person looking down on them.
Well put – good post. Victim mentality is a good word for those that just can’t seem to understand they have to take the action to make it happen. And even if that action is a stumbling block, pick yourself back up and move on. Positive all the time, leave negative at the back door.
Two thumbs up for the post. Nothing ruins my day more than listening to someone doing a tantrum about how life sucks even without an apparent problem to whine over. I mean gurl, get real. Everybody has problems and there are people suffering from AIDS and not eating as I speak. Those are the kind of people who are free to complain
So no one ever is torn apart by their life? It’s not victimization to look objectively at your life and know you are in circumstances you can’t change.
Janet – you can control and change anything you want – you have to see
outside the box. now there are pros and cons, no choice in life is free.
But its your choice – EVEN if your CHOICE is to stay your stuck
circumstances.
http://bible.org/seriespage/suffering-victim-or-victor-1-peter-11-6a
The reason people don’t know history is because a different version is currently being taught in public schools. Furthermore, socialization is over emphasized, to the point wherein what my children need to know to participate in society has gone away entirely.
Totally agree!
I think it is supposed to comeback to the home and communicty being the place for interaction and early habits. I do think it is good for kids learn to share and show respect for others, creates civility not violence over issues and conflict. We dont need a bunch of misbehaved adults acting like children to get their ways, like I observe many acting these days. Like Chris said, I agree with the fact that if you work to better yourself, it can and will happen. I guess its just harder for others, which has paid off for many very wealthy people, which I would prefer millions of people over just handfuls, but thats a matter of opinion.
I feel that education should be a little more equal for all, not just wealthier areas that get better funding for THIER schools. I live in one fo the best areas for public schools so I cant complain, but I about fairness. This is a nation, undivided except by class.
My oldest just started K last year, so it will be interesting to see what she is being taught, but so far it seems on par. When she gets to the older grades will be interesting. I pay close attention to most current topics, so she will be filled in on many things by her dad. When I was a kid, while living overseas for almost 5 years, I watched a lot of news and always wanted to pay attention to what was happening on both sides of the globe.
I think a lot also goes back to values…and what we are supposed to teach our kids to value. Economics wants everyone, especially kids to value property and materials, but there is more to life. Not trying to tell anyone how to think or anything like that, just my perspective.
I can’t disagree with anything you’ve said. It really depends on getting your children the best education possible, irrelevant of where it comes from. Family values should be at the top of that. What does your family value?
This is true of a “victim mentality”. Most are not aware of this feeling, because the thoughts are rooted in their “Belief System”. Once one becomes aware, then one has the opportunity to become an “observer” or their thoughts, feelings, attitudes and the words they use. Shame and blame is the conversation of stuff happening to them. Victim is the feeling. There is NO POWER in being a victim. I agree. Once victims “Shift” and empower themselves by being “accountable” and taking responsibility for decisions and results and choices and consequence, they will experience the results of a different decision and the consequences of different choices. It is all about keeping your Power and creating verses giving your power away and being a victim. It is called transformation. It does take practice. Be in the intention, process and practice and anyone can watch something wonderful unfold;-) – Prosperity Doctor
Chris you put a web cam in my house didn’t you! You’ve heard me whining before too much haven’t you? It’s your fault Chris! It’s on you, NOT ME! Don’t you blame me because YOU didn’t have sense enough to make this planet good to go! 😉 Oh oh…need to change my diaper…be back in a few…know you can’t wait…know you just live to hear grown men play baby …;-) luv ya big guy! – Dana
You are so right it’s so important, AND, now is the time to take advantage of every great teaching tool that is out there. Only one precaution, not all that is on YouTube glows golden…;-) I’d check it out and make sure the info is right, and the teaching is also? BUT WOW wee can we learn a low, have you been to TED.com?
You bring up some very valid points. There are some people who hold onto the victimized mentality for the sake of sympathy and excuse. There are those who actually have or are being victimized too.
We should not ignore that there are victimizers in our world, that would be dangerously foolish.
When it comes to examining your mindset it should be to check whether your situation is self imposed or not. You may still rise above in ether case, but knowing the difference between the two can make all the difference in the world.
You may think we need the wood. but we need the Truth more.
Not lately, however, TED.com is not a portal site that I can endorse with 100% confidence. There’s some great stuff there, however, there’s also some wacked out stuff, too. Again, it comes downto, where do your family values come from? YouTube, TED, et al, or, Your Famiy?
–“Even though it can be quite relieving to use this mindset once in a while, it is definitely a state you want to stay in for more than a few minutes.”
Don’t you mean “…it is definitely a state you *DON’T* want to stay in for more than a few minutes”? I think you left an important word out.
what do you feel is a solution for children subjected to human trafficing. What of the scared adults who survived the abuse. Accountable is not what they are. They are victims. They can’t even be held accountable for how they “deal with” the abuse when they are forced into the conditioning. Sometime there is no power in being a victim …period. There is power in awareness, but not in other people’s behavior.