Libby Copeland, from Slate.com recently wrote a post entitled: “The Anti-Social Network: By helping other people look happy, Facebook is making us sad.”
So is Facebook and exciting pictures of happy people leading seeming more fun lives than we are, causing us depression? Libby cited 2 Stanford studies, that found that we wildly over estimate other peoples happiness based on the images and accomplishments we see on their Social Media. How many times have you cruised the pictures of other people and felt jealous or less important as you seem to be missing what a great time they are having. Does it make you depressed?
To be sure everyone puts up their best foot forward. We PR skew the life we lead. With Social Media we can plaster the best PR photos of our life all over. Someone joked once that when Aliens discovers our extinct Race’s photos, they will think we were always happy from all our smiles. Everyone Foursquare’s in at the luxury diner, no one checks in at the Rehab clinic, the Court or Planned Parenthood. It’s important to realize we all put up this PR facade and not feel depressed that we perceive someones life “might” be better.
Heres some of my advice:
1. Understand the PR element of Social Media where everyone puts their best and brightest smiles forward. Its like the red carpet, you rarely will see tears. Facebook isnt the representation of a LIFETIME. They are just pictures taken from specific times of living. They are just smiles posed for a camera moment. You dont really know whether they are happy on the inside or not. On average we live 80 years, there many ups and downs challenging us during that time. In the end life isnt fair…get over it.
2. Remember this, no one can MAKE you feel anything. REPEAT THAT. You’re feelings are how you interpret the world based upon your filter and how YOU CHOOSE to feel about that incoming stimuli. I’ve lived long enough to learn that everyone is challenged to grow or die during their time here. From the baby born in the slum who is happy, to the Hollywood princess whose life behind the scenes is unfulfilled and drug addled, none of us is exempt in having crosses to bear. No ones life is perfect.
3. Quit watching and get living. You may be depressed over your life because you haven’t put for the effort to be CREATIVE in enjoying it. Its your job to make it fun for you and the people around you. If you are sitting all day wasting hours looking at other people pictures, dreaming, you should be depressed. Go live your life and make your own great photographic moments or not. My best memories are in my head. The greatest ones I have, will never make it on Facebook.
4. The Grass is NOT Greener. Facebook has been rumored to cause divorce and breakups. Its easy with this medium to get fooled by the “grass is greener on the other side” element. I’ve seen so many people who think that all those gushing guys chasing then online in comments will turn out to be willing or viable partners when you really finally meet them. Most likely they are in relationship trying to chase the “grass is always greener” too. Did you know that 35% of men on singles dating sites are married? There is no perfect mate, usually you just trade in one set of a persons problems for a different set. Many times the real problem is just people, needing to grow up. In the end its one big masturbatory effort chasing our tails. I always laugh we you see someone who wont WORK to save their current relationship, BUT will do all the WORK to lose weight, get in shape for a chance at a greener pasture. I cant count the girlfriends I’ve had, that if they had put forth the effort IN our relationship, that they put forth AFTER it, we’d still be together.
So in the end keep your perspective, be self-actualized and live your life. Put the WORK in to make your own dreams come true. Quit watching and start doing.
“Remember this, no one can MAKE you feel anything.”
That is the key phrase from your post. Everyone feels melancholy from time to time. My advise is don’t surf the ‘social networks’ if you are feeling a bit fed up. Go and live life to the full and get out in the fresh air and create stories that fill up what is a relatively short time we have to live on this planet.
I want to thanks for the time you have contributed in composing this article.
This article is so true. I had to delete my facebook account for the simple fact that I used to see my sister and her husband posting these amazing photos of extravagant vacations they took, parties they attended, etc. ..meanwhile the reality was, her husband is an abusive ahole, she constantly complained how miserable she was and regretted the marriage, was always depressed and down, etc, yet anyone looking at her photos and posts would think she was the happiest person alive. I couldnt take the lies of it all so I deleted my acct. As the articles says “my best moments would never go on facebook”
Pame – If you dont mind me suggesting this, I would offer you should keep
your account and enjoy facebook while blocking the people you dont want to
see. Its sad to me that people would limit their fun and enjoyment because
of something outside of themselves. Dont let other people restrict or
confine what you do.
I bet some free music would cheer you up! Check it – http://undergroundmusicspot.com http://themusicfeed.com & on your mobile at http://m.themusicfeed.com
Our Feature today is 4th & Inchez (F.N.I.) representin Texas – these guys rock! Check out their track “Real Big” – also great remixes of Black & Yellow and Kush
I’m quite astonished! I can’t imagine judging my happiness based on other people’s photos.
I have to agree with comments made by pame. I deleted my Facebook in summer ’10 for similar reasons. Couldn’t stand watching people post smiley pictures and then declare they were getting divorces in status updates. It all just seemed inappropriate and TMI. Plus, I didn’t like the notion of having to friend people from school that I haven’t seen in nearly 20 years. They are strangers. I especially felt that way when I found out that several had rap sheets: one for sexual crimes, another for molestation, three for drug crimes, and one dude had a record for stalking. No thank you. If other people want to throw themselves into the fire, have at it. I’ve returned to my less-than-exciting life and I’m happy in it. I’ve invested my extra time in growing a vegetable garden, which I started indoors over the winter. First harvest is next weekend. That extra time will wind up saving me money. Vegetable prices were up nearly 50 percent in February. Everyone should consider growing some herbs and small vegetables in a sunny window of their house. So easy and rewarding!
I often see pictures of people having a great time during summer or doing something that I wish I could do and it does often make me sad because I don’t often get to do a lot of those things. Great post Chris!