Take No Sh*t!: Build better relationships through discovering, creating and maintaining healthy boundaries in three (sometimes five) simple steps by Heather Claus
David Earle said, “The more severe the dysfunction you experienced growing up, the more difficult boundaries are for you.”
Craptaculous boundaries are NOT your fault.
Many of us have grown up with less-than ideal boundaries. Very, very few people are taught healthy boundaries at all.
We don’t see this modeled in our families.
We don’t see it modeled in our friends.
We don’t see it modeled in the movies.
We don’t see it modeled on TV.
We very rarely even see it modeled in books.
In fact, when we do show personal boundaries, we’re often taught that it’s wrong. That we should do “what’s expected,” “be nice,” or “do as I say.”
When we dare to stand up for ourselves, we hear, “Why are you so mean to me?” Or “You don’t appreciate anything I do for you.”
We spend our lives being controlled by others, so we learn to control others—OR—we allow others to control us in exchange for love.
And yet, the most dynamic and attractive people I know have strong boundaries (not to be confused with having the most boundaries). How? What?
That’s because boundaries are the deliberate expression of personal power.
Not just what you don’t want (or want less of), but what you do want (or want more of).
Take No Sh*t explores boundaries in depth. How they show up in your life, how they hold you back and how they can skyrocket your relationships. We’ll look at where boundaries came from, how they get stomped, and examine the connection between boundaries and ethics. We’ll learn the six main types of boundaries and use questions to help you create your own customized set of healthy boundaries.
AND we’ll have fun along the way! *smiles*
Show Notes
About The Guest(s):
Heather Kloss is the author of the book “Take No Shit: Build Better Relationships Through Discovering, Creating, and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries in 3, sometimes 5, Simple Steps.” She is a therapist and coach who specializes in helping individuals and couples develop healthy boundaries in their relationships. Heather’s unique background, which includes hitchhiking across the country and working in a carnival, has led her to believe that boundaries are the key to creating functional and fulfilling relationships.
Summary:
Heather Kloss joins Chris Voss on The Chris Voss Show to discuss the importance of setting healthy boundaries in relationships. Heather explains that boundaries are a line between the things we want to prioritize and protect in our lives and the things we want less of or are none of our business. She emphasizes that boundaries are crucial for maintaining our energy and resources and for creating a collaborative and fulfilling relationship. Heather outlines the three steps to building better boundaries: setting boundaries, communicating them, and reviewing their effectiveness. She also discusses the importance of understanding and respecting each other’s boundaries in order to create a strong and passionate relationship.
Key Takeaways:
Boundaries are a line between what we want to prioritize and protect and what we want less of or are none of our business.
Healthy boundaries are crucial for maintaining our energy and resources and for creating a collaborative and fulfilling relationship.
Building better boundaries involves setting boundaries, communicating them, and reviewing their effectiveness.
It is important to understand and respect each other’s boundaries in order to create a strong and passionate relationship.
Quotes:
“Boundaries are a line between the things that I want to prioritize and protect in my life and the things that I want less of, don’t want, or are none of my business.”
“The goal is to understand who we are as individuals, bring those individuals to a relationship, and then co-create or collaborate a relationship in what I call the sweet spot.”
“Boundaries are so important because they prevent resentment, bitterness, distance, and annoyance from building up in a relationship.”
“Boundaries are a shit shield. They protect us from the things we don’t want in our lives and maintain our energy and resources for the things that are a priority to us.”
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